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Conversations Do’s:
 
1. Do tell your child, “You are the boss of your body.” 
 
2. Do tell your child, “You need to keep your body healthy and take care of it.” 
 
3. Do tell your child, “Your body needs to last a lifetime.” 
 
4. Do tell your child, “It’s okay for you to touch yourself as long as it is done in private and doesn’t cause harm to others.” 
 
5. Do tell your child, “It’s okay to ask questions about your body and how it functions.”
Conversation Don’ts:
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1. Do not tell your child to ignore their body cues. 
 
2. Do not tell your child that they can never touch themselves. 
 
3. Do not tell your child you will punish them if they touch themselves. 
 
4. Do not tell your child there is something wrong with their body because of their gender or gender identity,  or if they feel like they are in the wrong body. 
 
5. Do not tell your child they cannot ask questions about gender or gender identity. 
 
6. Do not tell your child they cannot pretend to play roles of the opposite gender or fantasize about it.
 
7. Do not tell your child you do not like your own body or want to make changes to it (they take cues from us).
 
8. Do not tell your child that their physical needs or wants are more important than someone else’s needs or wants.
 
9. Do not tell your child certain behaviors or actions (like dressing up as the opposite gender at playtime) will make them gay. 

Sexuality

Conversation Do’s:
 
When engaging your child in conversation, the following tips will help you know what to say if the discussion feels challenging or if you do not know what to say: 
 
1. Tell your child you will believe what they tell you. 

2. Say, “It is not your fault,” if they disclose something to you. 

3. Say, “You are not responsible for what happened to you.” 

4. Tell your child they have the right to set boundaries with anyone. This includes family, friends, teachers, coaches, clergy, or anyone considered an authority figure. 

5. Inform your child that any uncomfortable touch or behavior is wrong, especially if it violated a boundary.

6. Let your child know it is okay to tell what has happened, even if it is not told directly to you. 
Conversation Don’ts:
 
There are some things you can say to your child that may derail the conversation or, worse, make your child feel like they cannot come to you. Try to avoid the following: 

 

1. Do not merely ask your child, “Who touched you?” if you suspect something is going on.
 
2. Do not limit the safety conversation to only talking about stranger danger. 
 
3. Do not threaten to punish your child if they do not tell you right away. 
 
4. Do not say you will cause physical harm to or kill the person who harmed or might harm them.
 
5. Do not tell your child you do not believe them or that their story is unrealistic. 
 
6. Do not tell your child that only certain types of people abuse children. 
 
7. Do not tell your child it is their fault if abuse occurs. 
 
8. Never use the phrase, “Who did you allow to abuse you?”
Body Safety
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